


Stand By You

by tylerandburnham



Category: Star Trek: Discovery
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-21
Updated: 2020-02-21
Packaged: 2021-02-27 21:42:30
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,651
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22832752
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tylerandburnham/pseuds/tylerandburnham
Summary: Set after the season 2 finale of Star Trek Discovery, in the future Philippa calls Michael to task for using the Red Angel suit to make too many trips to the past to check on her loved ones like Michael's mother, Gabrielle Burnham, did. Mainly they discuss Ash Tyler...
Relationships: Michael Burnham/Ash Tyler | Voq
Comments: 4
Kudos: 17





	Stand By You

Stand By You

“Hands, put your empty hands in mine

And scars, show me all the scars you hide

And hey, if your wings are broken

Please take mine so yours can open too

'Cause I'm gonna stand by you

Oh, tears make kaleidoscopes in your eyes

And hurt, I know you're hurting, but so am I

And love, if your wings are broken

Borrow mine so yours can open too

'Cause I'm gonna stand by you

Even if we're breaking down, we can find a way to break through

Even if we can't find heaven, I'll walk through hell with you

Love, you're not alone, 'cause I'm gonna stand by you”

Rachel Platten- Stand By You

“Why do you persist in torturing yourself?”

Michael looks deadpanned at Philippa. “I don’t know what you mean.” Michael takes her gloves off and places them gently on the science lab table close to the Red Angel suit that stands like another human in place beside the table.

“So Saru doesn’t know about your trips back in time to check on your family and Mister Tyler?” Philippa walks around the suit and then comes back around to face Michael. She shakes her head. “Like mother, like daughter. Your mother shouldn’t have revealed to you that she visited you all those times throughout your life. But she never made herself known because she didn’t want to disrupt your timeline or cause you more anguish for a mother who could never truly be there for you.” A pause. “And now you are doing the same to your loved ones back in the 23rd century.”

Michael looks away before looking back at Philippa. “Are you the only one that knows?”

“For now. But if you keep up the frequency of your...visits...others might begin to suspect. And the last thing you want is for others to know what you're doing. Then everyone will want you checking in on their loved ones.”

A look of guilt passes over Michael’s face. Why should she get to indulge in her personal feelings when everyone on Discovery has loved ones they left behind...for her?” 

“Where does it end, Michael? Better to leave the past in the past. Focus on the mission. Let them live their lives. Move forward. Always move forward.”

Michael looks steadily at Philippa for a moment or two and then nods her head. “You’re right. It is reckless and not productive. Not logical” She turns, crosses her arms, and looks out the window at the unfamiliar stars. Agreeing with Philippa doesn’t make it any easier. 

Philippa turns to stand next to Michael and gazes out at the same starts. In an uncharacteristic warm tone she says, “Is it Mister Tyler you visit the most? He’s the one you're most concerned about isn’t it?” 

“Why do you say that?” Michael says in a stern voice trying to mask her true feelings.

A half smile lights up Philippa’s face. She shrugs nonchalantly as she turns her head slightly to observe Michael. “Your parents have each other and Spock again. Your brother has his friends on the Enterprise. Mister Tyler? Well, it’s lonely at the top. I should know. Uneasy lies the head that wears the crown. Being the director of Section 31 is difficult. And your feelings for him are so obvious, daughter.”

Annoyed, Michael slightly turns her head to look at Philippa. 

That causes a full, knowing smile to light up Philippa’s face. She and Michael both turn to face each other again. Philippa’s smile never seems to reach her eyes. And yet Michael knows that Philippa is not being cruel to her. In her own strange way, Michael knows she cares about her. And Michael knows that, although at times wary of her, she also cares for Philippa-both for who she was and for this new mirror universe version of her. 

Philippa continues, “I had sized him up when I first met him and found him...wanting. But he has pleasantly surpassed my expectations. Which were low of course. His love for you made me curious about him. But I’ve investigated, observed, and tested him. He’s been loyal to you...in every way.”

“Philippa!”

She chuckles. “He is a good agent, but he has a fatal flaw in his inability to hide his feelings for you. It’s so clearly written over his face and actions.”

“This is none….”

Philippa can’t help but talk over Michael. She raises her palms up, appearing to be apologetic but she is having too much fun. “In case you were wondering, nothing happened between him and L’Rell. She was in love with him of course, but he couldn’t love her back. There was that little problem of her being the one that tortured Tyler, which nearly resulted in him murdering you. So that love story wasn’t going to happen no matter how many of Voq’s memories he has. Although he did nearly cave in because of that baby.” Philippa rolls her eyes. “You’re lucky I intervened to save him when I did and brought him into Section 31. We needed him and he needed a place where he felt he could fit in and do some good. I told him that misfits had merit there and that the freaks were more fun. And, oh, we had some fun!”

“He is not…”

“Yes, I know. I’ve gotten off track about what I wanted to tell you.” Philippa turns serious and that causes Michael to stop protesting and listen. “Mister Tyler trusted you above everything and everyone. Even Section 31. At one point Leland, before we knew he was infected with the A.I., ordered us to steal the Sphere’s data without Discovery’s knowledge.”

Michael’s eyes widened in disbelief. “He didn’t.”

“He protested the decision and then he didn’t follow through with it. He stopped because he trusted your judgement and assessment of the situation and what needed to be done to protect the universe. He defied Leland and stood up to him because of his belief in you.” She puts a gentle hand on Michael’s arm. “He broke your trust once and it was disastrous. He isn’t going to make that same mistake twice.” She pauses. “You are like two magnets constantly pulling back towards each other. But now you need to be more focused on moving forward with the mission to save…,” she sighs resignedly, “...all sentient life. I’m sure you don’t want Tyler’s staying behind to protect us to be all for nothing. After that, then we find a way to get back home.”

Michael nods, blinking back the tears. She has been focused on the mission at hand and yet still she’s been making these self-indulgent trips to the past. They have to stop….or a least be less frequent.

Philippa seeing Michael’s resolve, nods in acknowledgement and turns to leave. 

Before she can make it to the door, Michael calls out, “He hides his sadness well from others. But one time, when he was alone in his quarters, I think he knew I was there even though he couldn’t see me. He smiled and said, ‘Michael.’” She doesn’t know why she reveals this to Philippa but it probably has to do with the fact that she has no one she can talk to about it. Michael would normally talk to Tilly, but to do that she would have to admit that she had been making the time jumps to see Tyler.

Philippa smiles and turns around. She reaches into her jacket pocket and pulls out a photo. She turns it with two fingers so the front is facing Michael. “Did you know he keeps a photo of you two on his person at all times?”

Michael’s eyes widen in surprise as she tentatively reaches out for the photo. It’s not like they ever had much time to take photos, but she had forgotten that Airiam had made a photo from one of her memories of the two of them in the mess hall one day. They were laughing at something and smiling. How long ago that seemed now! Ash had been going to make her a copy but had never gotten around to it. How can one’s heart shatter into a million broken pieces and yet also overflow with love? Ash would have said it was just part of the human condition. 

She smiles as she blinks back tears but then something jars her thoughts. “Wait. How did you get this photo?”

Philippa shrugs. “I told you. I investigated Tyler. When you have lived most of your life waiting for someone to stab you in the back, literally, it pays to know your associates. And who is associating with those you care about. I found the photo and made a copy.”

Michael shakes her head in disbelief. But why should she be surprised. This is Philippa after all. 

Phillipa lays a hand on Michael’s face. “You’re welcome, daughter.” Then she exits the room.

Michael looks down at the photo. Things seemed so much easier and happier then. They looked so young and carefree. Where was that full beard and longish hair she loves so much now? Who is she kidding, she loves whatever he looks like. Back then she and Ash had no idea of the storm that was coming to shatter them. And yet they were stronger because of it. They would always love each other. It was as simple as that. She knew why she was here and why Ash was where he was. She knew what they were fighting for. They might not be in the same timeline but together they were fighting for the future. Quietly she says, “I love you, Ash. We’re going to defeat the A.I. and then I’ll find a way back to you.” She slips the photo into the same pocket she keeps the bowline tether he gave her. 

  
  
  
  



End file.
